


Stranger

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Post-Sburb, idk I was kinda thinking about the grey darkness of the meteor, just about my feelings on how i think KK thinks about Gam, lol :D, nvm guys this is now becoming multichapter, on the doomed timeline still, so I'm not so sure when or where this is, so this just might be a fix of Gamkar and a start of KatNepEq, so yeah that's all folks, the meteors always on my mind though, the one where Game Over took place in, this is a p short story, this is probably set in a post-game time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-23 11:32:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3766540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He became a burden, a pain, someone you had to deal with for the sake of everyone else.</p><p>You guess you didn’t really do a good job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Churning Thoughts With A Dash of Jealousy

You look at him and all you can see is a stranger. You know his name, his color, his past weaknesses, his past mistakes, his past favorites, crushes, likes and dislikes. You only know what he was, what he used to be. Every second with him was his happiness and your pain. Every second with him brought up feelings that you couldn't let out. Every second with him was neglectance to yourself. He became a burden, a pain, someone you had to deal with for the sake of everyone else.

You guess you didn't really do a good job.

He’s killed your friends and hurt you and betrayed everyone.You don't know him anymore. Anytime your eyes meet, you see his bare face, his makeup gone, and pure emotion. His eyes go wide and his face turns purple, and he looks away then absconds. You’re sure you don't pity him anymore. You’re sure you hate him, platonically, of course. And you're sure you'll never make amends. Everyone you know, even Eridan and Sollux have your pity. Everyone’s messed up, fucked up, ruined and downright pitiful altogether. They're at least better than whatever he was to you.

One thing you like about him, though, is how he managed to make friends. Him and Nepeta have found a middle ground called painting. Him and Tavros have finally found their hearts.  
But to you?

He’s a stranger.

It started when you were a young four-sweep-old, who got a grubtop as an early wriggling day present. You were overenthusiastic and nervous and scared. You shook and jumped and felt giddy over the fact that you, Karkat Vantas, the mutant, were to meet new trolls.  
The first troll you meet is an oliveblood who tries so hard to get you to play with her. You tell her she's a little annoying, and you leave off with that. But you still kept her Trollian. The second troll you meet is a yellowblood. His quirk seems a little strange, and he's already started to fuck around with his "amaziing codiing 2kiil2". It's strange and you're almost about to burst, so you quickly abscond the chat, before meeting another troll. He was a purpleblood. You remember being so cautious and quiet during your conversation. He did so much of the talking, and you learned his name was Gamzee.

You soon learn he eats the sopor slime. That's when you feel like you should take care of the highblood before you. You realize that's why he seemed so... nice. So childlike. You're not sure how long he's been dependent on the slime, but you want to help him. He's only four, like you, and he can't even take care of himself anymore. His lusus barely cares for him, and if you had ever been put in his place, you're pretty sure you'd crumble.

Perigees later and you're 5 and a half, and you let the word "moirail" slip between you. He's surprised, and you're embarrassed. Both of you are colored and he just rambles on and on about his pale feelings and all the quadrants, and you shoosh him. He complies and says he wants you to visit him sometime."BuT fOr NoW, wE cAn JaM hErE :0)" You're blushing. You're blushing. Your face is hot and you can't breathe and you're going to explode. You were so sure it was serendipity.

You both had emotion, you both cared for each other so much. It was nice, it was good, you both felt content around the other. Until the game started.

You met many new trolls, and before that pestering voice in your head asks: no, you hate them all. (Actually, you love them all. You' re just too much of a wriggler to admit how much you cherish your friends.) You don't love them, they're all incompetent fucks who can't listen to a word you say.

And now they're nothing to you. Only some of them are left, and they're slipping away already. You barely speak to Sollux, and Kanaya. Terezi's stopped speaking to you altogether. No one is your friend and you really wish you still had someone, _anyone_ , to comfort you. Every time you see one of your friends, your pumper stops for a second, your knees dare to give in, and your blood rushes to your face, ears, and shoulders. You wish you knew how to speak to them. You wish you were a wriggler again. 

For now, you watch Nepeta fuss over Gamzee, because, "Yourrr not feeding furself and meow need to eat." You continue listening because no, that's supposed to be you fussing over him because she already has a ~~meow~~  moirail. Fuck. Okay. You're not his moirail. You're not supposed to care about him anymore. He wasn't any help to you, so he doesn't deserve you. 

"Gamzee, I swear, I will drag you all the way to the nutrrritionblock if I have to," she says. "You need to take care of yourself." 

"'M sorry, sis," he grins at her. "But you got another brother you gotta take care of."

"Oh, don't you change the subject! You'rrre my furriend, and I'm _allowed_ to care for you." 

"You've been spendin' time with the humans," he chuckles. 

"Look, you've just been too skinny, and you start bleeding sometimes, and you barely even care! Tavfurros and I will take care of you, okay?" 

"Fine. I'll give in, my miraculous paintersis."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first fic that I felt was good enough to be on this site. I hope I can write things just as well as the things I've read.
> 
> Edit: May 10th, It's a multichapter fic now! :DD


	2. A Helping Heart

She takes his hand and you feel yourself lurch forward as she laces her fingers with his. It’s too pale. Too pale for your liking, and probably too pale for Equius’ liking. She glances at you for a moment, and you can see concern in her eyes, until Gamzee squeezes her hand. She walks away with the highblood in tow. You turn your attention on your grubtop once again, opening up a movie to watch, until you’re bothered by a bit of olive text. The first olive message you get in years. She hadn’t spoken to you at all through Trollian, having no need to, because you distanced yourself from everyone.

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] started trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --  


AC: :33« hey karkat

AC: :33« uh

AC: :33« i’m afurraid i’m going to have to do this fur gamz33

AC: :33« don’t tell him or equihiss i told you this purrlease

AC: :33« but gamz33 misses you

AC: :33« he still cares and thinks about you

AC: :33« i can s33 that he wants to become something impurrtant to you again 

AC: :33« don't be a stranger anymore 

\--arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

You swallow and lick your lips. You’re scared. Terrified. You don’t know if you should feel happy or angry at him, and you just wish you were a kid again. It was easier when you were six. Things made sense and things were still okay. Everyone was alive. Although things did go to shit after a while, at least you weren’t suffering as you are now, nine, and alone. You’re lonely and tired and you feel too old for how you look. You need to say something to someone. Anyone. But for now, all you do is ignore it, and resume to watching a movie.  
About halfway in, you feel a little bit empty, and fatigued. Maybe you should have followed the two, and eaten as well. You would never be able to tell him to eat, without him having to remind you to feed yourself as well. With these thoughts, you’re starting to think you _might_ miss him. Maybe.  


…  


Nope. Nope, no, no. That’s just the hunger talking. You get up from your seat, contemplating whether to go now, when there’s still going to be humans and trolls in the nutritionblock, or to go later, when everyone’s asleep. You don’t want to attract attention.  


You really need to get your shit together. Just don’t listen to them, or talk to them. Don’t even look at them. Yeah. You’ll survive. You take a step forward, stuffing your hands into your pockets as you walk through the halls. There are still the same voices around, from Tavros, Nepeta, and Gamzee. You don’t look at them, nor speak to them when they greet you, and you just grab the nearest edible food there is in the cupboards, before leaving. You feel someone behind you and you quickly speed out of the block.  


You pick up your grubtop once again, and make your way towards your respiteblock. You eat some of the bread as you walk, hoping you’re not bothered. But you’re knocked out of your thoughts when you bump into a wall. Wait. Not a wall. You look up, and its Equius.  


"Sorry,” you mutter. “Wasn’t looking.”  


Equius opens his mouth to speak, but you’re already at your door, and you abscond from the conversation. You hide out in a pile, with your back turned to the door, and your mind trying to concentrate on your movie. 

**ooo**

It was quite suspicious for the usually ornery troll mutter. Equius wasn’t used to Karkat Vantas muttering. He stood in the hall for a moment, not even bothered at the fact that the troll had just walked away from him. “Perhaps… I should speak to Nepeta about this,” the blueblood said to himself, searching for his moirail. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uhh. Still learning how one uses HTML,,, Haha, how does one Equius as well? I'm not so sure where I'll be going with this, but I _might_ , keyword: _might_ , mend Karkat and Gamzee's relationship. And maybe try to start a relationship between Karkat, Equius, and Nepeta, because that's my ot3 :3c


	3. Comforting Silence

Karkat buried himself in blankets and tried to block out his own thoughts with his movie. He desperately tried to let go of reality. Unfortunately, the more he tried to stop his thoughts, the more they turned into memories. Images of all his friends flashed in his head. All he could see we're the dead bodies of those he cared of, and he was the only one left. Fucking Past Karkat was the worst Karkat of all paradox space. You want to die, you want to die, you wish you were dead, instead of them.  
You hold your hands to your head, and try to squeeze the demons plaguing your thoughts out. You just can't do this anymore. You can't be a leader. You are not the leader. Instead, it was Feferi and John. Democwhatever, John called it. You're nothing. You take no part into this new world you're all trying to build. Because you're just going to give it cancer. Like last time.  
What?  
No, no, no, no! You're not crying, you're totally not crying! Not at all-  
"C'mon, Gamzee! Karcat's suffurring in therrre! I can feel it, you know. You've always got to trrrust a Hearrrt player!" Nepeta's muffled voice is behind your door. Shit. No. They can't be here. Not now. Maybe not even ever. They have to leave. You cannot face them. You're too ashamed.  
"Yeah! Just, uh, you know, talk to him, Gamzee." And now Tavros is also fucking joining this shitty group. You're tempted to yell "douchemuffin" at them and drive them away, but you stay quiet and turn down your volume when you hear the knob turning.  
You're silent, and he's silent and you not really used to this little noise with him. His footsteps used to be heavy, and his breathing was usually audible. You're frozen in place when you hear he's close, and for what seems like forever, the both of you are just there. In each other's presence. You're not sure if you like this or not, but silence was never good with either of you. It meant highblooded thoughts would seep into his pan, and you always had to prevent that.  
He speaks first. "This is a two-way thing now, brother." You're shocked and stunned, and the blanket is slowly lifted off of your face. "I'm sorry, for not givin' you what you motherfuckin' needed, while you up ‘nd pampered me with your amazing pale romance." You really don’t want to cry; those are not tears falling down your cheeks, fuck you. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know how many times I’ll motherfuckin’ say it, but I’m sorry for not givin’ you what _you_ needed. It’s been years--sweeps, how long, and I all up ‘nd see how much I miss you, motherfucker. You’re my best friend, Karbro. Palebrother. Karkat. I just--I really motherfucking need you back in my life. Please.” Great job, Gamzee. Now you’re crying and the door’s still fucking open for all to see. Everyone will now know that Karkat Vantas, previous leader of all the trolls, is a huge, sappy little wriggler who has other emotions that isn’t annoyance. You’re the one to hug him, and the both of you are tangled in the blankets, and he’s smiling with tears in his eyes, and you're burying yourself in him. He kisses your eyes, and you just cling onto him.  
The door creaks closed, and _finally_ , some privacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW DOES ONE GAMZEE?  
> Okay, so I tried my best, I need an adult, I have no idea what I'm doing. Nepeta's probably going to be narrating in the next few chapters. I have no idea where I'm going with this, but this story isn't over yet.  
> Sorry for this really short chapter, but if I wrote more, it would probably be me babbling on while I'm in tears :)


End file.
